I lost my best friend

This is a very difficult thing to write, but it’s a story I need to get out of my chest. Directly and without preambles, on July 18th 2023 I lost my best friend. She was the most loving and warm dark brown with bits of black dachshund. She had an official Russian name (because originally it was the puppy of my boyfriend and his ex), but since we met I gave her a new name she recognized as her own: her name was Señora, plain and honorable for a dog of her age (she passed away with 14 years of life on her back).

Before I write about the pain and void that her loss means to me, I will tell you more about her.

The Señora Dessi Puerquita (because that became her full name in our family), aka Señora, aka Wonnie, aka Little Piggy, aka Puerquita, was born in Russia on July 3rd 2009, and moved to Berlin in July 2015. Señora was the friendliest puppy one could ever know, she would always come to greet everyone at the door and walk them inside home with a cheerful spirit. Though she was never recognized for being a super physically active puppy (she was more like an energy saver) she would bring a toy for you as a present sometimes. She was always known for being the best emotional support anyone can ask for, she would be there for the sickness, sadness, and difficult moments to offer you a hug or a lick on your palm. She was always highly motivated by food and would be ready for a snack anytime. Señora was the kind of puppy, who would make companionship in the kitchen in spite of her low interest in cooking. Her hobbies included licking the floor in search of some little snack, sleeping, cuddling, and attending virtual meetings on her bed under the desk with a cozy blanket. She was the best sleeping buddy I had, always available for a hug, warm during winter, and snoring as loud as an old motorcycle. She started to be sick around August 2022, it all went from a small lump in her mouth to a crappy vet diagnosis, two surgeries on full anesthesia, to a type of cancer that resulted in a huge tumor growing in her jaw. Until her last moment, she was a happy puppy, waiving her tail and greeting everyone around.

Her loss has had an impact I can hardly describe for myself, I had pets over my youth (mostly chickens and cats), but I don’t think I ever felt so attached and close to any until Señora. She adopted me as part of her family and made me feel welcome in the home of my boyfriend since we met (not because he didn’t but because she was the family of my boyfriend for a longer time than me, so it meant a lot to me). Over the past few years, I had some anxiety crises due to stress, and she was a warm fuzzy living being, who would give me her love unconditionally. She and I became home buddies and did everything together (except showering — she was not a fan of water or soap), countless nights I spent in front of the monitor, either working on something or on a call with my mom, and Señora was there with me on her bed or on my lap until it was time to go to bed, where she would take her place and remain to cuddle with me until the morning.

We tried to give her the best life we were able until it became too much for her little body, and in one last act of kindness, we let her go.

Every morning when I wake up, I still expect to find her under the blanket waiting for me to have some snack while I have breakfast and start our day together, it is hard to get used to.

She will always remain in my heart as my little Señora, my best friend, and the void she has left in my life will stay as an open wound that closes slowly for a long time.